Saturday, March 12, 2005
i have to work harder.there's always sth holding me back.is it the lack of discipline or seriousness.it's so different.used to be so scared whenever i couldn't deliver it properly.and when circumstances forced me to do so,i could,thou i was afriad and all.but the thing was,i managed to pull it off.now it's so different.it's gross.i cannot bring myself to face them.it's not embarrassing.it's knowing that while others are putting in so much effort into it,and that you are the one spoiling the whole thing.it's disgusting and terrible.better do sth about it,and i know i can't rely on myself to do tt.and it's approaching.i know i'll be really scared.but i guess running away doesn't solve anything.i need to face it.
went to nus with adess,pkss,emmss,thomass and his friend ytd.everyone looked so grown up.kays.all of us except pkss and thomass's friend were in sch uni.and my tian arh,i felt more like a sec4 kid then a yr2.everyone there was in home clothes,and like so many girls were in heels.not that i see the need to wear heels.i mean.ya.some were clearly overdressed.but i just couldn't help staring and looking.they looked so so mature.met meow there tooss.she was going for the med talk.the talk i wanted to attend was over.so i basically went ard taking a lot of brochures and koping a lot of other stuff.going into the uni scares me.kays.that is,if i can get into one,in the first place.it's scary.i don't even know if there'll be a class,or if anyone i know is going into the same course as me,the new people i'll meet and all.so gross.i'm really scared.i know it's dumb la.but ya.hahas.ah wells.for now.let's just all mug and be happy muggers till the As are over.
wheess.my cousin's married today!!sort of makes me wished i was getting married tooss.hahas.wheess.and the hotel even gave them this free poster thingy with their photo on it.so coolss!and his bride's jie mei-s forgot to close the door,so all the xiong di-s rushed into the house without having to do any forfeit and all.hahas.so dumb.and i'm going to become an ah-yi soon.my eldest cousin's wife is pregnant!wheess.happy family.
i'll worship You, my God; 10:29 PM